PopCo and my non functioning love life.

At the moment I feel this world is just going crazy. Everything I'm used to is gone. It feels sad in many ways. Mostly I feel a bit lost at the moment. Like I have nothing to really rely on but myself. I don't even have my own space, and that is really starting to make me frustrated now. The most reliable thing in my life at the moment is school. I could just stay there for ever. It's whats's closest to me at the moment. School and the people at school, the ones I meet almost every day, two people: Edith and Andreas. I don't see many other people at the moment, except for weekends. I miss always having someone to talk to. I miss that really badly. I'm not used to being on my own anymore. I need something to take my mind off things. What ever it may be.

Started reading PopCo today. Another book by Scarlett Thomas. Can't help loving her so much. The book starts off with a quote be Stanley Milgram. Isn't that just wonderful? It's so funny how these things happen. Just after reading "The end of Mr Y" (Another book by Thomas) that refers loads to Derida, I had to read a bit of Derida at school. Made school work loads more fun I can tell you. And now I start reading PopCo that I understand is a lot about mathematics and we are reading about statistic methods. It's just a really nice coincidence.

Otherwise I am walking arround this earth feeling extremely bored, irritated, unmotivated and unsatisfied. I need some action. I need some drama. Jesus, I am tired of this situation....

Dreams

Time for essays. Colonialism is on the agenda. Mostly I'd like to finnish one of my short stories. But no time for that tonight. Mostly I would like a Blood & Sand and some company. London next week. I cant wait to get away. Lovely lovely London. Me, myself and my book. It seems like dreamland... Where would you go?

My nr 5 dream places to go are (in no particular order):

• Somewhere close to the sea and with mountains. Maybe Iceland or Ireland.
• The dessert. Where ever it may be.
• Kap Verde, The island with the sunken ship.
• India and Tibet
  
• Walking through the English country side.
• On a train trip through Asia.

Where would you go?

Time for tea I think...

School stuff...

School work and house cleaning today. Also I heard from Jonas that he has been to town to develop the pictures in colour . Looking forward to Wednesday when i get to see them...

Also I got a phone call from Emanuelle saying that the Swedish ABC-News will be coming to our rehearsal tomorrow!!! So watch the big box! :)

Just realized that my computer wants me to write in American English, which is pretty annoying...

Had a row over the e-mail with one of my teachers. I´m taking an internet course in Literature, and have been trying to get hold of him for ages. At last I have, and he claims that the address which I´ve been writing to has been down for years. But I got an e-mail from that very same address welcoming me to the course... And that was a month ago! I hate it when teachers take things personally, I just want help and answers to my questions, that´s all. And if it is an internet course as this is, it would be helpful to have the right e-mail address... FRUSTRATION

And! On top of that, one of my windows has cracked! Don´t know how it happened because I´ve never even opened it. When we moved in to our apartment one of the other windows were cracked in the same way, and we were the first to even live here. So I´m thinking maybe they´ve been cheating when they´ve been building the place?

Photos by me. The model is my sister. For an assignment in school. We are supposed to do cd cases... I chose Hell On Wheels because a friend of mine plays with them. All names of songs are real, the actual album exists, but doesn't look like this...

Skola...

Så just nu läser jag Foto B på komvux. Det är en hemsk kurs. Mest för att jag redan kan allt och för att det finns idioter i min klass som spenderar/slösar hela lektionen på att fråga och inte förstå vad skillnaden på ett montage och en manipulation är. Hm...gick tidigare från skolan idag pga denna diskussion... Tidigare har jag i alla fall haft Love och Niklas i min klass att prata med och utbyta menande blickar med när lektionerna blir för långtråkiga. Men de har slutat dyka upp för att de tycker lektionerna är så tråkiga. Man kan nämnligen "jobba hemifrån" om man mailar in och säger det. Borde kanske göra det jag med, men det har hänt att jag faktiskt missat viktiga saker när jag gjort det tidigare. Nåväl, det är bara två veckor kvar på kursen... Jag måste bara komma på någonting att fota till mitt slutprojekt, det skall vara dokumentärfoto.

Bilderna är av på min syster Clara, fotade av mig som slutprojekt till Foto A. Jag föredrar utomhusbilder framför studio egentligen, men jag är inte så bra på det än. Blev rätt nöjd med dessa bilder, dock insåg jag i efterhand att det kanske var lite platt ljus, men Clara gör en exceptionell prestation!