The end

Hos mamma nu ett tag. Här har jag utsikt åt två håll. Ut över de grå höghusen i öst och den mest fantastiska solnedgången, skog och Mälaren i väst. När det blir varmare är det bara fem minuter ner till vattnet. Jag älskar att vara så högt uppe, 6e våningen. Min syster spelar piano. Jag ångrar att jag slutade. Jag insåg idag att jag slutat blogga. Det kan nog bli så framöver. Jag vet inte om jag har så mycket att skriva längre. Det var nog aldrig min grej att blogga. Jag blir för personlig. Jag ville ju skriva någonting roligt, men jag vet inte hur bra jag lyckades...

Bloggen kommer finnas kvar, och det kanske kommer en uppdatering då och då. Men tillsvidare inte mer än så. Tack för mig, det var roligt så länge det varade. :)

Hurra hurra för hemtenta! Nu kommer jag stänga in mig i en vecka. Hejdå världen!

Erase and rewind

Jag är så trött på att försöka ta hänsyn till folk och bara få skit för det. Det händer alltid och jag borde ha lärt mig vid det här laget att det inte är någon idé. Folk verkar i allmänhet köra över andra människor och inte ge det en andra tanke (Här kommer min svengelska "second thought"...). Jag har lite grann svurit inför mig själv att jag aldrig skall göra så, att jag alltid skall lyssna på andra människor, fråga om deras åsikter och föra fram andras röster. För att folk tenderar att sitta och hålla käften och sedan gnälla efteråt. Man fan nu är det nog med mitt hänsynstagande. Jag skall sluta bry mig om vad andra människor tycker. Sluta fråga om lov och be om andras åsikter.
Kör över dem bara. Det verkar vara attityden man skall hålla. Det kanske är dags att jag slutar låta folk köra över mig och börja ha samma inhumana attityd tillbaka. Eller så säger jag bara det här. Det låter bra i teorin, men jag är sjukt dålig på att bry mig om mig själv. Jag bryr mig alltid om andra i första hand. Det är någonting jag skolats in i sedan jag var liten och är ganska svårt att ändra på. Men jag är så jävla trött på att bara få skit tillbaka. Jag blir bara mer och mer bitter. Jag ogillar de flesta människor nu för tiden. (bild: Daniel Eyre)

Battlestar Galactica

Just finished the last episode of Battlestar Galactica last season (4)
Maybe I can start living again... haha... I really liked it though. Made my dreams very interesting too... I am so fracking (haha) tired. I am going to bed and will hopefully dream of cylon wars... night

Beth Gibbons & Rustin Man - Funny Time of Year @ Paleo 2003

I know I am posting all this music all the time. But it explains what's going on at the moment with me. It's a kind of manic happy/sad/angry desperation and I can't really put my finger on it. I'm just waiting for the next phase. At the same time it feels like I've given up.

Jimi Hendrix - All Along The Watchtower

When you realize that you are actually alone. It scares the shit out of you.

free

Still waiting for somewhere to move. I am so sick of this by now. I know it's only been a month. But I can't keep moving in and out every other week much longer. All my things are in boxes. I don't have a place for myself, I don't have my things around me, the things that make me feel at home. (Yeah I know I'm a materialist, sure)

But what I miss is a place called home, and that is freedom to me.

emptylooks

Photo shoot with Wonderful Jonas Mattsson again.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/emptylooks
It's so fun to hang out with him. I always learn a lot about photography. And I am always amazed. Thank you Jonas! Here's some pictures from our former photo shoot.

England

Jag är med i en tävling hos otroligt duktiga makeup artisten Nataly

Gå in och var med du med!

Norwegian Wood

I am speechless. If there is any beauty, this is it.

twentytwototwo

I've had this blog now for more than a year. (Jesus!) So I guess I can count myself as a "blogger" now, though I don't really feel like one I can tell you. Anyways, I know that what you have all been wondering now for ages is: Why twentytwototwo? No really, I'm actually quite amazed no one has figured it out yet. Or maybe you just haven't dared to po the question? Anyways. Think about it for a while....




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twentytwototwo?







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Ok, those of you who know me should have guessed by now. Yes when writing twentytwototwo in digits it spells. 13:38. I have loads of explanations for that one.

The time I have top catch the bus tomorrow.
The time I broke my leg
The time I shaved only one leg
The time I was captured by pirates
The time I married John Lennon
The time I got the swine flu

No to be completely honest with you (cause I seldom am nowadays) It's the time I was born. And also the tattoo I have on my neck.

Family

My grandma sent me this wonderful picture of her mother and father getting married in 1919. And to the right my grandmothers grandmother and to the left my grandmothers grandfather. (ps. click for enlarged photo!)

PopCo and my non functioning love life.

At the moment I feel this world is just going crazy. Everything I'm used to is gone. It feels sad in many ways. Mostly I feel a bit lost at the moment. Like I have nothing to really rely on but myself. I don't even have my own space, and that is really starting to make me frustrated now. The most reliable thing in my life at the moment is school. I could just stay there for ever. It's whats's closest to me at the moment. School and the people at school, the ones I meet almost every day, two people: Edith and Andreas. I don't see many other people at the moment, except for weekends. I miss always having someone to talk to. I miss that really badly. I'm not used to being on my own anymore. I need something to take my mind off things. What ever it may be.

Started reading PopCo today. Another book by Scarlett Thomas. Can't help loving her so much. The book starts off with a quote be Stanley Milgram. Isn't that just wonderful? It's so funny how these things happen. Just after reading "The end of Mr Y" (Another book by Thomas) that refers loads to Derida, I had to read a bit of Derida at school. Made school work loads more fun I can tell you. And now I start reading PopCo that I understand is a lot about mathematics and we are reading about statistic methods. It's just a really nice coincidence.

Otherwise I am walking arround this earth feeling extremely bored, irritated, unmotivated and unsatisfied. I need some action. I need some drama. Jesus, I am tired of this situation....

The day after...

Jeeez, not good today I can tell you... Had a great night out yesterday though which I really needed. I ended up at a party with my friend Peter. I don't remember the last time I was so drunk to be honest. It was just mad. Walked home with Peter, arm in arm and with a bottle of Jack. Rock'n'roll! Hahah. Just got home from Peters place. I am going to die now. Just a little bit. I have to do some school work though. Lovely stuff.

Just found this wonderful picture on my grandmas computer. It is her old bathroom, how it looked befor they tore it allo appart and modernized it. Oh how I loved their old bathroom... A bath wold be nice now I guess, but I will have to bring my school book with me...

10.9.6.3.2.1.

10 FAVORITER
Färg: Kastanjebrun
Mat: tapas
Band: PJ Harvey
Film: Tala med henne
Bok: The wind up bird chronicle
Sport: Badminton
Årstid: Hösten, för jag älskar färgerna och ljuset.
Veckodag: Jag vet inte varför, men jag har alltid gillat torsdagar.
Glassmak: Saffran
Tid på dygnet:Kvällar, jag har alltid varit en kvällsmänniska.


9 FÖR TILLFÄLLET
Humör: Trött och orkeslös.
Smak: syrlig
Kläder: Min gröna tröja som varit min favorit i 8 år, svart kofta, grå kjol, svarta tights.
Bakgrund: Pale blue eyes, med Velvet Underground.
Nagellack: Inget.
Tid:22:11
Omgivning: Röd soffa, grå filt, katt på fötterna. Mitt pop-hörn. <3
Irritationsobjekt: Självdiciplinen.


6 HAR DU NÅGONSIN
Dejtat någon av dina nära vänner: Ja, det slutade illa.
Brutit mot lagen: Ja.
Blivit arresterad: Haha ja...
Badat naken: Många gånger.
Varit med på TV: Ja.
Kysst någon du inte känner:Många gånger.



3 PERSONER
Du kan berätta allt för: Edith, Isak och allt som oftast Niclas.
Du tycker om: Calle, Andreas, Karla
Du inte gillar: Jag ogillar sällan specifika människor. När jag ogillar människor ogillar jag oftast alla människor, och då är det ingenting personligt utan jag som inte förstår mänskligheten.



2 VAL
Kaffe eller te: Jag har ett koffeinhjärta. Fast jag älskar te egentligen. Förr drack jag alltid te.
Vår eller höst: Höst, fast efter en lång vinter vill jag bara ha vår...

1 ÖNSKAN: Min egen plats. Där jag kan vara helt mig själv och sätta min egen prägel. En plats som är bara min och där jag kan återspegla mig själv.

Tack Jeanette för frågorna.

10 x 10

Photo: Jonas Mattsson
Ok, so I have gotten over this "everything is going my way"-feeling that I've had these past two weeks. I've felt that things are moving. But I know me and I am the most impatient person I know. It's only been two weeks and I am already crawling up the walls thinking : where is my apartment!!!! Where is my new life!!!??? When can I go off and hide and just be on my own. It's like it doesn't count yet because N and I are still sharing the apartment. I just long for my own space sooooo much. Just give me 20 square metres, that will be enough. Somewhere where I can lay my head and rest. Somewhere that is all mine.

Today has been a weird day. Yesterday I was out walking in the sun and smiling, today I have been wanting in the bitter wind just wanting to go home and sleep for weeks. I just don't understand how my moods swing sometimes. I keep trying to tell myself that I am being stupid and childish and to just set it aside. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.

Berliner Bitter

Hey, did you miss me?

Recently I've had a lot to do. And I've been living with my grandmother for a time. It's like being on holiday from your own life. I haven't done any "normal" things. I've just been eating studying and sleeping mostly. It's been nice. This week i am back in my apartment, and so back to old bad habits. Like watching films instead of studying. I have to get a grip of myself...

N and I broke up after tree years. We both thought it was for the best. He is the most fantastic man I ever knew. He is my soul mate and my best friend and means so much to me I hardly know where to begin. But we had to move on. No hard feelings though. We both agreed to this, and actually, I think it is SO nice to be alone. Now I just need my own apartment so I can be alone. For real this time. Hopefully it won't take too long.

Berlin. Was where N and I met for the first time. They shut just about a month ago. This was one of their cocktails. Berliner Bitter. Not that bitter though. ;) But it is nice with nostalgia.

'till next time...

Eat. Pray. Love.

Personlighetstest

Din personlighetstyp:

Kreativa, handlingskraftiga och snabbtänkta. Duktiga på många saker. Tycker om att debattera och kan vara angelägna om att få sista ordet. Entusiastiska över nya idéer och projekt, men kan brista i förmåga att hantera vardagliga rutiner. Oftast frispåkiga, uppriktiga och bestämda. Uppskattar att umgås med andra och är själva stimulerande sällskap. Utomordentlig förmåga att förstå komplicerade koncept och finna logiska lösningar på problem.

Karriärer som skulle kunna passa dig:

Entreprenörer, jurister, psykologer, fotografer, konsulter, säljare, skådespelare, ingenjörer, forskare, uppfinnare, marknadsförare, programmerare, komiker, analytiker, kreditrådgivare, journalister, psykiatriker, PR-ansvariga, designers, skribenter, artister, musiker, politiker.

Tack Elsa! Personlighetstetet hittar du här.

Valentine

Someone really made my day. I got home, cold and with a kind of "fuck the system"- anger. (I think it had something to do with talking about classes in society, and the fact that the speaker on the train was on really loud, and the driver kept shouting at people to stay clear from the doors. So I listened to "Common people" with pulp which made me more angry.) Anyhow, got home, opened my mailbox to find it full of crap (bills, advertisement and stuff...) but on the bottom of the pile was a mysteriously anonymous valentines card addressed to me! I've been sitting and admiring it and smiling and trying to recognise the handwriting, waiting for some sort of give away on whom might have sent it. But I have absolutely no idea. Someone just made my day. Who ever you are. Thank you so much!
And to the rest of you: I hope you have the best valentines. <3

Oh Yoko!

15

<3

Masquerade

In one hour I am leaving for Niclas cousins birthday party, and then to Toves birthday masquerade. You get to guess who I'm going to be...
I'll give you some pictures later. X

Dress

One of Gurlis dresses that I wore yesterday. <3